I was appalled last week to read about Nicole Kidman naming the surrogate of her new baby as a “gestational carrier”. This sounds so cold and clinical so different to what baby making should be about. Choosing to have a baby is not a package or a process it’s the creation of love and respect.
I don’t have a problem per se with surrogacy but I do have a problem with people who treat it like a fashion statement. The surrogate as I see it is a mother too, semi biological if you like as I’m quite sure that because the mother’s blood is feeding the baby that the baby’s health will be affected by the mother, positively and or negatively. So to treat the surrogate as a “gestational carrier” seems quite removed from the reality. Do the biological parents of the child wish to hide the fact they used some else’s body to create this child? They certainly minimise and side line the vitally important role the surrogate has by using this term.
And will a child want to know it’s “gestational carrier’? Quite possibly, some may, some won’t and I suspect some children will never be told of how they were created. Whenever we play with creating babies we can interfere with the fundamentals of a human being, their sense of self, their self-esteem, and knowing who they are. Playing with emotions and feelings of people is a dangerous business. We will see in years to come how these children are or are not affected by these modern ways of creating babies. I can only hope that parents are patient, listen to the needs of their children to know the truth, are honest and love their children unconditionally.