Christmas can be such a fun and exciting time and a time to connect with others. However it can also be a time of being really aware of what we think we don’t have in our families and perhaps get triggered by people or events. Sometimes being with family can be a blessing however other times…..???
So how about preparing yourself for this festive day to ensure you do have a good time rather than a time of wishing you weren’t there or even had a different family altogether?!!
To help, consider the answers to these questions below to try to manage those thoughts that come up and to be really prepared.
Who is it that is likely to trigger you? Mother, mother in law, brother, husband?
What happens when this trigger occurs? What are your thoughts and feelings? How old are you? I ask this last question as often we revert to a childlike state when we get anxious in these situations. So the thoughts we have may come from when we were a lot younger. and may not necessarily be the adult you.
Once you’ve clarified the triggers then decide how would you like to be on Christmas day? Do you choose to be happy? Do you choose just for today to care for everyone in your family? Do you choose today to enjoy yourself no matter what?
If those triggers arise and you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts or feeling less than or unloved how can you turn that around at the time to ensure you don’t feel victimized?
Could you remember your strengths and talents. Remember a time when you were confident? Remember a time that the person did do or say something nice to you? And check in with yourself in the moment – did they really mean that or are you feeling sensitive today?
So decide before Christmas day how you want to be, take control of your thoughts and emotions. If you don’t you may be at the mercy of your child within.
It is not about pushing aside what may have happened in the past but choosing to hold both – the family history and dynamics as well as choosing to enjoy your christmas.
A very merry christmas to you.