Why do we procrastinate when it makes us feel bad?
Do you find it makes you feel bad when you procrastinate? Strange isn't it that we avoid doing stuff, but we feel guilty and anxious when we don’t get things done, yet we still avoid it.
Procrastination can get in the way of achieving everyday tasks and our goals at any time of the year. With this fantastic weather in Auckland this summer and several short weeks, I certainly get distracted and don't feel in the flow of my usual routine.
Avoidance can happen –
- At work, with simple or complex tasks
- At home with lots of jobs to be done
- When organising a meeting
- In relationships, when we want to address something with a friend but avoid bringing it up
- When feeling tired and have run out of juice
- Just not interested
We can push through most of those things by sheer willpower, often driven by deadlines, or the family won't get fed unless we get on with it. But always using willpower is exhausting and doesn't always work.
Feeling Guilty and Anxious
Procrastination is closely linked with feeling guilty and anxious. I know I feel guilty when I'm watching Netflix, and I should be writing this blog! Guilt comes up when the oven is dirty. Actually, correct that I don't. I let it go, as it isn't important to waste my energy worrying about it. However, anxiety is common when a work deadline is looming, the motivation isn't there, and you can't just get on with it.
What are you feeling guilty about right now that you are avoiding?
Rewards are good
It's an endless of anxiety or guilt when we don't do something. To write this blog, I had to reward myself. I enjoy writing, but as I said earlier, I'm not in my routine right now. So I told myself to write a paragraph and then have a swim. Then, write another paragraph and return a call to a friend.
Here are some other simple strategies that I find work:
- With a work deadline, do one small thing first, then the next and so on.
- Telling myself to just get on with it.
- Remembering the feeling of satisfaction when something is complete.
- Take a break; do something else for 10 minutes, then return to it.
Just one thing a day
I learnt a good idea recently. I was holidaying at home, and it was easy not to do much, but I felt I wasn't achieving either. So, a friend said to me she does one thing a day. Just one. And that makes her feel she has accomplished something. It might be cleaning a cupboard or a little weeding in the garden. And that worked for me. I could holiday and feel satisfied.
A Simple Practice
One of the best ways is to write on a Post-it note or diary at the end of each day the 3 things you want to achieve tomorrow. Things that will give you the most satisfaction.
What about the bigger stuff?
Let's talk about the bigger stuff now because not all Procrastination can be managed by strategies. With the big stuff, we keep putting off, for instance, making decisions about saving money, buying a first home, or looking for a new job—those things you want to do but seem too big even to start.
It's frustrating because we are constantly struggling with guilt and anxiety about not starting to take action with these things.
This is where we will likely have deeper stuff getting in the way. Here are three common things:
Lack of purpose; something that isn't important enough to care about
Grief. Some loss means this might not be the time to try to accomplish things, and pushing to do things isn't the best thing right now.
Feeling tired. Too much going on, and can't get to the bigger stuff.
But the biggest is usually fear. Fear of –
not being good enough
taking risks
what might go wrong or
failure, to name a few.
If we can take the time to uncover the fear and notice when it pops up, then something can be done about it.
For example, you want to find a new career, but you keep putting off taking the first step, like updating your CV, talking to a career coach 😊, or exploring Seek for job opportunities.
Two ways to deal with this:
Discover what the Procrastination is about. Take the time to find out why you are putting this off. Is it fear of leaving the comfortable job, or having to go into a new environment, or are you stuck and can't even take a step to move forward?
Ask yourself this question – If I don't take action, where will I be in five years? Or if I don't explore my options now, what will happen to my current role? No matter the issue, it's checking within yourself the consequences of procrastinating and determining if it is worth the pain or lost opportunities down the line.
In my course, Mastering Procrastination, you will get to the core of what is getting in the way of making that decision or taking action.
This online course provides tools and strategies for everyday Procrastination and leads you on a journey to uncover the core reasons you procrastinate. Then, you can start feeling much better about yourself and reduce the anxiety and frustration.
Read more about this course here: Mastering Procrastination
For now, when you find yourself procrastinating, pause a moment and ask yourself why you can't get on with the task and go from there.
Warmly,
